Blank Report

I’m glad I haven’t got a deadline to write this drivel or I’d be in real trouble.  Fact is, I’ve written three separate posts that were crappy.  It’s not like I’ve got Nothing to Say, it’s just that I can’t seem to articulate it…or find that it’s already been said…

Ah, the struggles of Writing…

Peace

Wishing you All a Peaceful, Loving Mothers’ Day

I read an article the other day:  10 Unforgettable Literary Moms.  I came away with one quote that resonated my heart.

It’s a quote from Toni Morrisson’s deeply haunting book “Beloved”.  I confess, I didn’t get very far into the book before I set it down.  It was a glimpse into a world that is so disturbing and painful that it caused me pain, too.  I’ve always said I’ll get back to it when the Time is right because there is something to learn about suffering from it.  At any rate, here’s the quote from Sethe, whose tragic past has complicated her relationship with her daughter, 18-year-old Denver.  Despite all of Sethe’s problems, she is a Mother.

Grown don’t mean a thing to a mother.  A child is a child.  They get bigger, older, but grown?  What’s that supposed to mean?  In my heart, it don’t mean a thing.

She’s not talking about “raising” a child here.  She’s talking about the effeable feeling of Being a Mother.  There are no words, though I’ve just spent an hour trying to write some.  It is Mystical Spiritual Love that is instinctively protective and nurturing.  It doesn’t change  just because your children reach a certain age.

It’s not about the Love you receive from your children.  It’s not about what a Good Mother you are or aren’t.  It’s about that Spirit that enters you when you give birth, committing you to a Lifetime of Support to your creation.

I suppose that it’s possible that some mothers don’t feel it and I’m sad for them and their children.  Most of us, though, have been Blessed by that Love.  Now that my kids are parents, they, too, know that Ever-Present Love and Caring for their kids.

It doesn’t change, no matter how much anger or sadness has found its way into your lives.  It is Forever and Always.

It isn’t easy, this mothering thing.  We try our best to keep sight of that inexpressible Love when times are trying, but ain’t nobody perfect.  The Perfect Mother is one who has done her Best…and that’s all of us…and that’s Good Enough.

They are still my children, my babies.  In my heart, they never are Grown, but I sure do respect them as Adults. They are Good People.  I love being their Mom and am so grateful.  (I really like those grandkids, too, but that’s yet another Indescribable Love!)

Peace

 

 

Sunday Rerun: Derby Days

Finishing up the Loooooooong month of April was quick…!bam! it was the First Saturday in May, aka Derby Day in the Casey Family.  It was the Best Weather for a Derby we’ve had in years, but No bets were placed, no hats were donned, and no Juleps were consumed.  We did tune in to watch the Virtual race of past Triple Crown winners, won by Secretariat with Seattle Slew right behind.  With the Derby rescheduled for early September, we’re still a bit leery of the idea of such a large group gathering, but it would be nice…

Instead of preaching to you about wearing a mask (please do) and physical distancing (stay 6 feet away from me), I want to relive the Kentucky Derby…

Here’s a rerun of reruns from the 2018 Derby!

The News from Sonnystone Acres

It’s that Magical Time of Year — Derby fever has been raging in Louisville, KY for 2 weeks and we now have the field set and can make bets beginning tomorrow.

It looks as though Eville is going to have decent weather on Saturday with a.m. clouds/p.m. sun and highs in the 70’s,  in stark contrast to my report in  2013 Coldest Derby Ever  

I shared with you in  2015 – It’s Derby Week-end how befuddled I become when betting The Run for the Roses, but I’m a little less confused than usual this year.  (2015 was the American Pharoah year, so the decision seems easy, now.)

In 2016, I was visiting NYC on Derby Week-end…

Eliza’s Derby Hat 2016 NYC

Around these parts, we have a Real Kentucky Thoroughbred Racetrack, Ellis Park, 10 miles away, but Manhattan lacks such amenities.  I discovered TwinSpires, the Official online wagering…

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Sunday Sermon

I’ve been wearing a mask since our state first shut down on March 13.  I had a paper one from my dental experience and now my daughter-in-law has made some cloth masks for me and Casey.  A couple of weeks ago, before we’d even put 6-foot lines on the floors to mark the distance or face guards in front of the cashiers, I ran into the Liquor Store to pick up some drink, wearing my mask.  There was a line of about six people, most of them about three feet apart.  One guy in the middle of the line yelled out the minute I walked through the door: “Chinese!”  I surveyed him:  no taller than me, probably in his mid-thirties but looked about 60, glazed eyes, clutching a quart of beer (probably had to borrow the money for it), wearing shorts and a tank top and…socks…no shoes.  The socks were ankle high with black and white dots and black “ears” on either side of his toes…  “Nice socks”, I replied as a squeezed past him.  He shouted at me again, “I said Chinese!” and pointed at my mask.  I know I shouldn’t, but I turned and pulled my mask down slightly so he could hear:  “Your socks are Chinese.  They are panda bears.  Panda bears are from China.”  He kind of swayed and looked at his feet.  “Whatever”…  I pulled up my mask and went on, but I’m such a smartass…I couldn’t resist snarling..”Whatever”  He got louder, “Whatever”…. I got in the last “Whatever”…

Life has changed, permanently. No amount of denial will put it back to the way it was just a few weeks ago.  This week, for some reason, that really hit home with me.  I’m not sure if it was the rise of infections, the predictions that it’s only going to get worse.  Maybe it was the makeshift hospitals and funeral homes, or the rise of domestic abuse cases, or the bajillion new unemployment claims, but for a day or so all I could see was the Loss  Loss of jobs, Loss of business, Loss of friends, Loss of dreams, Loss of Life.  And you can’t grieve “normally” or be there with your loved one when they pass.  It’s a sobering reality, but it is Truth:  We can Never Go Back to Before.

Today is Palm Sunday in the Traditional Christian churches  When I was a youngster it was the beginning of a marathon Holy Week of Music and Prayer as we re-lived the Passion of Jesus.  Wearing our choir robes, we would process down the aisle to the Altar, waving our palm fronds and singing, All Glory, Laud, and Honor to Thee, Redeemer King!

This year, many years removed from those days, I am thinking how the disciples and followers of Jesus had no clue that their lives were about to be totally upended. They felt triumphant that day.  No doubt they were excited to be in Jerusalem to celebrate the Passover and to bring more people into their movement.  They felt confident and probably a little proud that their teacher was getting this clamor of praise — kind of like having 10 million followers on Insta…

Little did they know that in four days Jesus would be arrested and killed and they would have to run for their lives and hide somewhere.  I have no doubt that after his death and burial they were confused and afraid.  They knew it would never be the same, that what they had planned was not going to happen.  They could only think of what they had Lost.  What Did happen was so much better than their plans of grandeur.  Their Loss was their Gain.

There’s a lesson there for us today. The past wasn’t meant to last.  We begin again, going forward into a time of spiritual renewal and rebirth.  Each of us will will emerge from this time a different person, a changed Human Being.  And wouldn’t it be Awful if we did go back to the way we were?  Do we really want to go back to a time when we were so mean to each other, when we were divided in every way, to when we ignored our neighbors, or labeled a stranger as “other”?  Let’s Not.

Turn and Face the Changes.. Changes in the the way you worship, in the way you Live, in the Way you Love.  Don’t trust someone who says he’s got all the answers and Knows more than G-d.  No one can say what’s going to happen and there’s nothing at all new about that. True Faith is knowing that even in the worst of times, we are not Alone. Trust the guy who says, My Peace I give to you, the Peace that passes all understanding.  Share that Peace with Everyone, even the Whatever guy.

I know this time has been brutal in every way for just about everyone financially, spiritually, mentally, physically.  I am Loving the Surge of Camaraderie over on Facebook.  It seems like the old days when fb was novel and people actually used it to converse.  I’m with all you sweet mamas and daddies and grannies and gramps who are now sharing your tips for keeping everybody home and safe, making masks, creating some great videos, keeping a journal of your experiences and sharing your heartache at how your children are being affected.  Naturally, I wish we could a join in a Giant Group Hug, but we’ll have to settle for our virtual hugs and Share Peace.

Whilst doing some digging the other day I twisted my knee and now I’m hobbling about like a little old lady.  It’s slowed down my gardening, but I hope to get back at it today.   It seems like it’s a regular occurrence, these small injuries — draining cysts, broken teeth, sprained foot and now knee.  The Covid sure helps put things in perspective, doesn’t it?  I’ll take my ibuprofen, prop up my legs, and thank The Lord that I can breathe.

Look out for each other and stay the fuck home.  Wear a mask if you have to be out. Who cares if the assholes call you Chinese?  Stay Strong, dear Readers.

Peace

 

 

 

Another week? Seems longer…

I’m such a loner.  The “isolation” of this virus hasn’t bothered me a bit.  We Garden at this time of year, starting seeds and breaking up new ground for planting, and that’s just what I’ve been doing.  Other than wearing mask and gloves when I grocery shop at 7am, not much has changed around here.  I sort-of started Spring Cleaning, kind of, which is totally normal for me.  What has bothered me is how Time is Warped right now… Every week seems like a year and the days lumber along slowly — what day is it, again?

I know that many of you are concerned about my daughter.  She and her family are doing well, thank-you.  If you are friends with her on facebook you can see for yourself.  We stay in touch and there’s not much else that can be done right now.  In order to keep a handle on my anxiety, I stop and Practice the Presence more often and that’s a Good Thing.

We had some storms fly through last night and tornadoes touched down about 10 miles from here, both sides of the river, just adding to the Stress on our First Responders.  With All my Heart and Soul, I am sending Love and Strength their way.  The clean-up efforts will only compound the hazard of spreading the virus.  Please stay safe if you are inclined to help, and Bless you for it.

This week I’m starting a series of posts about the “genealogy” of our house and grounds, aka Sonnystone Acres.  We continue to garden and I post at Growing Every Season on Thursdays.  I’ll try to be friendlier over at the facebook, but you can always call or text or email, as well.

Peace

 

 

Learning Patience…or trying to…

Last week seems like a year…

I didn’t realize that the Jose’ fam had been out to see Riverdance on the 13th just before they shut Broadway down.  I asked that Melissa delay her visit until they had been isolated for 2 weeks.  She readily agreed, expressing her concerns for me.  I was wracked with guilt that I had to disappoint her kids, who you know I love beyond words, but I felt it was best for all.

Here in Eville, my daughter-in-law’s trip was cancelled, but I went ahead and had the Jr. girls over to play.  I was thinking that the risk from Evansville was not as great.  It’s true that we’ve not had any tests here until a couple of days ago when there was one person who tested positive, but that’s because we didn’t get any tests until last week.  We are now under Strict quarantine, refusing to let the Jr girls visit, either, but I don’t think that’s making anybody feel better.

The New Yorkers are under SuperStress right now.  Both Melissa and Eric are immunocompromised and Melissa’s job is at risk.  There is no bailout for them, yet the bills have to be paid.  All I can do is continue to send Love and Peace her way and not add to the tension she must be feeling.

My trip to England, scheduled for the Queen’s Birthday celebration in June, will undoubtedly be cancelled.  I’m pretty sure the airline will waive change fees and let me reschedule eventually, but it’s a major disappointment.  Royal Ascot sent my tickets out with a message that they will promptly refund if the meet is called off.  Britain has been super-slow responding to this pandemic so I have just written off the trip until next year…if there is one.  God Save the Queen!  I’d sure like to see her before she checks out.

How dare I whine like this! I feel so guilty about my constant anxiety.  Unfortunately, worry is not rational and many of us who are just fine are still waking up with fear.   Stay Strong, Friends.

To Those of you working essential jobs:  You are the salt of the Earth–Bless you!

We’re all in this together…We are All One…

Peace

P.S. The Garden Blog has been revived.

 

 

Weekly Wrap-up and Happy Fathers Day

Big Shout-Out to all the Daddies who are being celebrated today.  I know some good ones:  the two Michael Caseys- Casey and Jr. — come to mind.  I hope you are enjoying the attention.  You are Loved…

My face is back to pink now, but the shape is oddly different.  Nothing you would notice, probably maybe, but I do.  The whole episode has made me stop and think about how I worry about the physical toll of aging, not just the sag of my jowls, but the drooping Everywhere else.  It’s part of the process of living, I know, but as soon as I can quit applying medicine I am taking a complete break from Mirrors.

I took Olivia and Samantha over to Henderson, Ky for a picnic and a walkabout.  It was a perfect day!  We are usually sweaty and hot this time of year, so the clouds and cool breeze were a treat.

This coming week is Midnight Madness, A Genealogical Event at Willard Library.  I’m interested in several of the topics, so I’ll spend a couple of days there.  The end of the week ushers in the Shrine Fest, another festivity that is usually unbearably muggy.  Maybe some more cool-ish weather could stick around?

Oh, I have to show you what we found at a rummage sale last Friday:  a Red glider that puts a Pop of Colour in my south porch.

Peace

 

Indisposed

Lest you think I only show my smart side here on the blog, here’s a saga of stupidity…

I did my usual maintenance down at the Nails place–mani, pedi, chin and lip wax–on Saturday.  I hate having to wax my face, but I could quickly grow a Colonel Sanders beard and a Pat Shoulders mustache if left unattended and shaving just leads to whiskers…  Anyway, I’ve been doing it for years and I bring along my special Clinique redness solutions cream to put over the stripped skin immediately.  Saturday I forgot the cream and let them use their stuff lightly.  It was okay and I went my merry way.

On Sunday it kinda itched and I remembered to use some of my cream, then some cortisone cream for the itch, but it persisted.  Sometime in the ;middle of the night Sunday I got up and pulled some just-bought anti-itch gel from the medicine cabinet and applied it to my face.  I thought I knew what was in the gel, but it was a different brand… It burned a little, but I went back to bed…

When I woke up several hours later, my face and chin were so swollen that I could only see half of my mouth.  I had evidently rubbed some up on my forehead, but luckily none had got in my eyes..  My cheeks were voluminous, My chin was like Dudley Do-Right, and it was burning like crazy.   Shit…the new gel had camphor in it –now I read the label– and I must have reacted to it:  2nd degree burns wherever it had been applied.

I washed my face, started applying ice, which is what I have been doing the last couple of days.  I’ve used a lot of ibuprofen.  I’ve applied mounds of zinc oxide and wear my biggest garden hat.  My eyes feel sticky and I’ve flooded them with various types of eye drops.

The worst part?  Looking at my face in the mirror…I’m way too vain for this kind of malady and feel nothing but embarrassment and self-pity.

I will spare you the selfie…it is scary…

I’ve avoided going out in public (nothing new for me), but I’ve got things to do, places to go, and people to see.  Tomorrow’s my day with Olivia and Samantha and we’re heading over to the Handy Blues Festival in the afternoon, so I should be ready to slather on some make-up, put on some Large sunglasses, and wear my Mona Lisa smile as I mingle with the masses…

There is a Super line-up of Musicians playing the Handy Fest and I’ll be back sans grandies to enjoy the evenings.  It would be great if I run into you while we’re there…

Now you know what happened…Just act like you don’t notice…

Peace

 

Weekly Wrap-up

Monday morning Olivia and Samantha came to stay for three nights!  It was like a mini-Camp Sonnystone:  we painted birdhouses and signs, went to the zoo, played games, swam, and had ice cream every night before bed!

I had the best time with the girls.  I hope they can stay with us every time their mom has to go out of town for work.

The rains have been quite rainy, so we waited until today to head up to New Harmony for their annual antiques fest. A lot of the outside vendors had not even set up due to rain and the usual crowds were non-existent, but we were there.

I’m still getting caught up with the info that my distant Mayne cousin mailed me.  It is intriguing.  My goal is to get some blogging done over at All My Ancestors this week…  But I have some musings to share with my fellow Sonnystoners, too, so expect a tick-up in posts as we creep on toward summer…  Hope you’re having fun!

Peace

I just don’t feel like blogging…

I’ve been thinking again…always dangerous, if you know me… I’m unable to find words to explain…I can’t make myself sit down at the keyboard and try…

That summer feeling of freedom is creeping up on me…if it weren’t for the chiggers I’d lie down in the grass and watch the clouds change shapes…but there are definitely chiggers, currently living on me in places where the sun doesn’t shine, so instead, I sit outside on one porch or another, swinging away the time.  Sorry to say, but I just don’t feel like blogging.

I had a super surprise this week when I was contacted by a distant Mayne cousin.  He shared some good stories of our Iowa Maynes during the Civil War.  He clued me in to the Gold Mine story.  I enjoyed the conversation so much and he’s going to send me some info, to boot.  Before he called, I was researching a completely unrelated family member and studying up on button factories, but now I’ve put that aside as I delve back into the Maynes… I love doing the research and learn something every day.  I want to share it with you…and I will!..but right now I just don’t feel like blogging…

Umm…That’s all I got…

We’ll have Olivia and Samantha staying with us Mon-Thurs while their mom works up north.  We will have a blast for sure…and I hope I’ll feel like blogging…

Peace