I read an article the other day: 10 Unforgettable Literary Moms. I came away with one quote that resonated my heart.
It’s a quote from Toni Morrisson’s deeply haunting book “Beloved”. I confess, I didn’t get very far into the book before I set it down. It was a glimpse into a world that is so disturbing and painful that it caused me pain, too. I’ve always said I’ll get back to it when the Time is right because there is something to learn about suffering from it. At any rate, here’s the quote from Sethe, whose tragic past has complicated her relationship with her daughter, 18-year-old Denver. Despite all of Sethe’s problems, she is a Mother.
Grown don’t mean a thing to a mother. A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown? What’s that supposed to mean? In my heart, it don’t mean a thing.
She’s not talking about “raising” a child here. She’s talking about the effeable feeling of Being a Mother. There are no words, though I’ve just spent an hour trying to write some. It is Mystical Spiritual Love that is instinctively protective and nurturing. It doesn’t change just because your children reach a certain age.
It’s not about the Love you receive from your children. It’s not about what a Good Mother you are or aren’t. It’s about that Spirit that enters you when you give birth, committing you to a Lifetime of Support to your creation.
I suppose that it’s possible that some mothers don’t feel it and I’m sad for them and their children. Most of us, though, have been Blessed by that Love. Now that my kids are parents, they, too, know that Ever-Present Love and Caring for their kids.
It doesn’t change, no matter how much anger or sadness has found its way into your lives. It is Forever and Always.
It isn’t easy, this mothering thing. We try our best to keep sight of that inexpressible Love when times are trying, but ain’t nobody perfect. The Perfect Mother is one who has done her Best…and that’s all of us…and that’s Good Enough.
They are still my children, my babies. In my heart, they never are Grown, but I sure do respect them as Adults. They are Good People. I love being their Mom and am so grateful. (I really like those grandkids, too, but that’s yet another Indescribable Love!)