Tag Archives: thinkin’

I just don’t feel like blogging…

I’ve been thinking again…always dangerous, if you know me… I’m unable to find words to explain…I can’t make myself sit down at the keyboard and try…

That summer feeling of freedom is creeping up on me…if it weren’t for the chiggers I’d lie down in the grass and watch the clouds change shapes…but there are definitely chiggers, currently living on me in places where the sun doesn’t shine, so instead, I sit outside on one porch or another, swinging away the time.  Sorry to say, but I just don’t feel like blogging.

I had a super surprise this week when I was contacted by a distant Mayne cousin.  He shared some good stories of our Iowa Maynes during the Civil War.  He clued me in to the Gold Mine story.  I enjoyed the conversation so much and he’s going to send me some info, to boot.  Before he called, I was researching a completely unrelated family member and studying up on button factories, but now I’ve put that aside as I delve back into the Maynes… I love doing the research and learn something every day.  I want to share it with you…and I will!..but right now I just don’t feel like blogging…

Umm…That’s all I got…

We’ll have Olivia and Samantha staying with us Mon-Thurs while their mom works up north.  We will have a blast for sure…and I hope I’ll feel like blogging…

Peace

In the middle of the pouring rain…

Whew!  The summer-like weather has kept us Outside mingling our work and relaxation.  I’ve been away from the keyboard more and more as I rely on my phone for my internet fixes.

Just as the humidity was becoming unbearable, the rains have arrived.  I awoke to the rhythm of a straight-down-pour, almost invisible to my sleepy eyes.  I’ve spent the last week watering the gardens first thing every morning, so this was welcome.  As I was checking my a.m. routine folder, I heard a pop–or was it a plop?  I am the worst at following sound, always swearing it’s over there when it’s really over There, but it picked up speed and I was able to spot it about 9 feet away:  a leak from the roof.  Casey was still snoozing, so he got a rude awakening.  I put a pan under the leak and he went upstairs to check it out and place a pan up there.  Nothing can be done until the rains stop in a few days.  It’s always something, ya know?

The roses have obsessed me.  I think they will be all right (next year), but it has driven me crazy that they sit right in the front of the house, a testament to my poor gardening skills; they also look rather dead, no leaves at all.  Last year I experienced a similar Rose Disaster and so I had 4 “extra” over in the north garden that were unaffected by the slugs.  I angsted and angsted, hampered by my sick need to keep things symmetrical, and finally came up with a solution.  It involved moving all but 2 of the uglies, putting the 4 extras in, and filling in with daisies.  I’m Still not happy with the 2 that I left, but not nearly as obsessed.

Oddly, the one off by itself on the south side is just beautiful, no doubt due to my superior gardening skills!!

We had the Jr. girls over on Memorial Day, which just happened to be Michael and Jessica’s 13th (!!) wedding anniversary.    The grandies and I went to the zoo in the morning.  The afternoon was spent in the pool.  The happy couple joined us for supper.

When I get too anxious over my gardens and responsibilities, I like to take a walk down to the woods, sit in my thoughtful spot,  and admire Mother Nature’s work…it’s definitely not symmetrical, but its chaos is beautiful…

 

Peace

 

 

Week-end Wrap-up

What a week…huh?  The weather has been beautiful as the temps have dropped to more appropriate autumn levels, blessing us with bountiful sunshine and blue skies as a backdrop to the reds, yellows, and orange of the changing leaves.  I took a lot of walks around our back acres, shuffling my feet in the leaves to cover the sounds in my head, looking at every tree and leaf for a message, listening for birds, or even a squirrel for comfort.  The squirrels came through for me and told me to get back to work, winter’s coming on.

We’ve put the travel trailer away for the winter.  You have to drain all the water hoses and stuff, fill them with a kind of antifreeze, then throw a giant, expensive, cover over it to protect it from the water elements.  Casey’s been hard at work helping Michael with a water heater, but he managed to get it all done while I moped around inside.

We’re counting the days until the retirement, with fear and love…   His retirement date is 12/16.  I’m traveling to NYC for our usual Rockette extravaganza from 12/15-12/19.  I was kind of worried about him since I’ll be gone for his Last Day and First Day…   so I asked him…

“Now tell me, do you really mind that I’m gone those days?  Will you be all right coming home to just the cat after your last day?  Will you be afraid waking up alone on your first day of retirement?

Classic Casey…”you mean I’ll have 2 vacation days?  I think I’ll be okay.”

Yes, 2 vacation days, then it’s you-and-me-together for the rest of our lives, or something like it…  I don’t mean that’s a bad thing, but it will definitely be a time of adjustment.

In order to distract me, we’ve started watching the Marvel Cinematic Universe movies.  I wish life were more like comic books–a hero would come along and start throwing cars around and save us all from the bad guys.  >sigh<

That’s all I’ve got for now.  Just walking in the woods…

 

January funk…

I’ve been trudging through this week, staying up too late at night, oversleeping in the mornings, and napping too long in the afternoons.  My inner critic (that shrew) has been active, though, judging me for my inactivity.  I’ve spent an inordinate amount of thought-time missing my mom and dad, wishing my kids were still kids.  The water pipes in the kitchen froze.  I just couldn’t bring myself to blog…

Killing time on the internet, I’ve been reading some entertaining blogs.  The photos are wonderful, the content is pithy and/or funny as hell.  Instead of being inspired, out came the critic to compare and discourage.  So I drowned that bitch in a bottle of wine…

There’s only one thing to do about these January Blues:  Dance, brothers and sisters.

I betcha can’t Not Dance…

 

Today’s Special

A creature of habit, I no longer have to write down resolutions, I just find myself doing the same old (new) things every year…re-organizing the closets and cabinets, both literally and mentally, sorting through the flotsam and jetsam of the last year, keeping what’s useful and tossing the rest.

calvin-hobbes-new-year-resolution1We’ve pretty much evolved into a seasonal routine, and winter is for upping the trips to the gym, cooking healthy, cozying up with a book, writing, and reflecting.  The birds must be fed, the gardens planned, and this February we’ll greet our new grand-daughter.

But right Now is perfectly fine; in fact, it’s just Enough..!  Each morning, I resolve to Enjoy Today…

calvin and hobbes new year 1

Enjoy Every Day of 2015, dear Readers!

Thanksgiving Edition…

We woke up to snow…

DSC_0006

 

Usually Casey would get a call to go out and catch flurries during such weather, but this year they called Jr. at 1 a.m.  The torch is being passed…  Still, Michael was here with Olivia by 10 or so and we were feasting on crockpot roast beast, mashed potatoes and gravy, green bean casserole, and crescent rolls by 11.   Jess is afflicted with a bug of some sort and couldn’t be with us, but we soldiered on…

After they had left to attend another Thanksgiving meal, I muted the Dog Show and fell into YouTube, remembering…

Looking for a simple version of “We Gather Together”, I came across this little gem.  I Loved Tennessee Ernie Ford–bless your pea-pickin’ little heart– and grew up listening to an album of him singing hymns.  It was such an innocent time…Was the world really so much simpler, or was it because I was so much younger?   I don’t know…  At any rate, I never knew this existed, from 1963…

 

Thinking now of present-day…Emma’s in Philadelphia competing in a major Irish Dance competition and somehow the sight of those Red-Irish Dubliners made me smile, gratefully, for all of our gifts…

Same prayer as last year, still hoping…

With Your feast You feed us.  With Your Light now lead us.  Unite us as one in this life that we share.

I’ll drink to that…

 

 

 

and the plan is no plan

 

I’m sitting here drinking my second cuppa, trying to get going…  Trouble is, I can’t focus on what I should be going to do…  The garden is being well-hydrated by the rain gods and the plants don’t need me.   I spent a lot of time doing housework last week and I’m not so much excited at the prospect of doing more (though there’s more to be done).  I am reading a Perry Mason that is a lullabye-book, easy to put down.  Casey is working 10-hour days, so I’ve got some time on my hands and it’s not nice to waste it…what’s the plan?

ooh-kay, how about we hit the road with a camera and see what comes up?  How about I stop griping about the weather and get out into it, defy it, show it who’s boss?  Maybe I could scour the countryside for  places I’ve never been, set out without a plan, just a vague direction that gives my restlessness a chance to act out.

Or I could just sit here and think…think about people and relationships, about bills to pay and appointments to make;  think about the grandkids and the kids;  think about tomorrow and fall into the memory of  yesterdays.  Or I could Not Think:  This season is great for going outside and listening, letting the sounds of the birds, tree-flies, frogs, even the triple-peep of the turkeys drive all thought from my brain.  Out by the campfire ring, I sit on the picnic table and simply breathe, no thinking…  Though I’m silent, I feel like I’m part of the choir.

But that’s not a plan, is it?   I think I’ll clean up and get out.  I’ll let you know it turns out…

let-go-and-see-what-happens

 

 

blogging block…

I’m looking forward to getting back to work next Monday.  Our last day of school here is 5/23, so I’ll just breeze in to say good-bye to the graduates, finish up the final paperwork, and pack up my office.  I am still having some pains/problems, but I do think I can manage those 5 days.

I enjoy spending time alone, reading, listening to music, writing.   I’ve filled the last 3 weeks with Eudora Welty, Flannery O’Connor, Matthew Quick, Erle Stanley Gardner, and deeper moments with Reza Aslan, Jane Schaberg, and The Bible.   I’ve had daily sing-alongs with the likes of John Prine, Lyle Lovett, The Dead, The Beatles, and Gregg Allman.  I’ve even caught up on my Netflix watchlist, but I’ve not been able to write, not even a draft.  Though my conscience has berated me without mercy,  my fingers have been sulkily refusing to touch the keyboard.

I think I know why:  I started Blogging 101 at wordpress on 4/15.  I guess I didn’t realize that it was going to be about meeting people, making some new friends, like a class…yes, Exactly like a class.   I have made a few comments and am following some really cool blogs, but the introvert in me immediately shut down the social interaction with its shrill, “don’t go in there”.  There’s some insecurity involved, of course, since  many blogs are better than mine and most are more popular.  There are many lessons I have to learn…it’s just that I don’t want to have to actually “talk”, if you know what I mean.

I don’t always get recognized as an introvert because I am not shy.  I always just thought I was weird, but I read Susan Cain’s “the Power of Introversion” and found out there are a lot of us with similar personalities.   Maybe you’re one, too…

introversion1

Today was the final day of the class…  I finally feel like I can write;  in fact, I have actually written this post and I’ve edited some pictures to post over at the garden blog.   Hmmm….

weird

 

Whatever…I’m back..!