Stream of consciousness: 21 minutes

Writing 101 assignment:  Unlock the Mind.  Free write for 20 minutes (which I changed to 21 so it’s divisible by 3) ..no editing…

6:39pm –

I woke up this morning from a dream:  I was in a room of people, shadowy.  recognized J.  from high school and we were somehow communicating, talking?, D. walked in wearing suit and tie and smiling at me until he saw J, then J left and I walked away, studiously ignoring D. and sitting down in a chair to view him on the bed, shadowy people were still there when J came back and brought me a blanket and as he was wrapping it around me I noticed that my breasts were bare and they were my young, perky breasts not the saggy, crone-tits that I have now and I demurely covered them with a peasant blouse and looked at J and woke up.  It was raining, misting, gloomily damp and the cat had given up on waking me at the normal time of 7am and was sleeping at the foot of the bed.  It was 8:30 or so and I lay there for a few minutes saying my morning prayer:  I thank Thee, my heavenly Father, through Jesus Christ Thy dear Son, that Thou hast graciously kept me this night from all harm and danger and I pray that Thou wouldst keep me this day also from sin and every evil, that all my doings in life may please Thee, for into Thy Hands I commend myself, my body and soul and all things, let Thy Holy Angel be with me that the evil foe may have no power over me.  Amen.  Then I thought about the dream and wondered if it meant anything and wondered how people from high school can still show up in a person’s dreams even when they’re 61 years old and so over it, or not?  No, really over it, no doubt at all.  And what should we do today, since it’s raining we’ll have to come up with something inside.  I talk /think to myself all the time and often refer to myself as we, especially when I am questioning and it is my honest, sincere belief that God Himself is  my “other” voice, though I certainly don’t think it’s not me, or maybe I do and should be institutionalized.  I wonder about that a lot, though, as I go through the morning routine, feed the cat, half of a can of meaty bits, not shreds or filets, dammit, meaty bits, and add just a little water while he meows impatiently, then grind the beans, get the coffee brewing and head for the shower.  I try not to notice all the physical changes, the cellulite thighs and gut and I clean it up and shave it off, brushing and swishing the remaining teeth and getting dressed.  Put the half-and-half in the coffee and bring it on in to the  east room which I like to call the morning room because the rising sun shows just above the trees outside the window where I sit in what Casey calls the Captains chair, then open up the laptop and check in with the Outside World.  2 mailboxes, 1 facebook account, check the blog stats just to see if someone’s noticed, read the local news online.   Today I have a mess in the front room that needs to be cleaned up, so I empty out 3 drawers of file cabinets and put most of it upstairs in another file cabinet, then begin to load dishes back into the hutch cupboard that belonged to my Aunt Bernie.  Many of the dishes also came from Bernie, but some came from Mom and others are mine and I think about each one as I replace it.  I love to arrange shelves, and rearrange shelves, and then move things around some more, and I pull cookbooks out and move them to the kitchen, then move some cookie jars and signs and salt and pepper shakers onto the decorative shelves of the hutch, then sit and admire them while I eat a turkey sandwich, and open windows and it rains and rains and rains, and I run down to the consigment shop and buy an office chair and use all rolling chairs around the table and put the others upstairs and sit admiring it with a strawberry sparkling water when Casey gets home.  I cook supper, chicken, asparagus, mushrooms, watch some Rifleman, talk with Casey, and write for 21 minutes whatever I’m thinking.

7:00pm

blogging block…

I’m looking forward to getting back to work next Monday.  Our last day of school here is 5/23, so I’ll just breeze in to say good-bye to the graduates, finish up the final paperwork, and pack up my office.  I am still having some pains/problems, but I do think I can manage those 5 days.

I enjoy spending time alone, reading, listening to music, writing.   I’ve filled the last 3 weeks with Eudora Welty, Flannery O’Connor, Matthew Quick, Erle Stanley Gardner, and deeper moments with Reza Aslan, Jane Schaberg, and The Bible.   I’ve had daily sing-alongs with the likes of John Prine, Lyle Lovett, The Dead, The Beatles, and Gregg Allman.  I’ve even caught up on my Netflix watchlist, but I’ve not been able to write, not even a draft.  Though my conscience has berated me without mercy,  my fingers have been sulkily refusing to touch the keyboard.

I think I know why:  I started Blogging 101 at wordpress on 4/15.  I guess I didn’t realize that it was going to be about meeting people, making some new friends, like a class…yes, Exactly like a class.   I have made a few comments and am following some really cool blogs, but the introvert in me immediately shut down the social interaction with its shrill, “don’t go in there”.  There’s some insecurity involved, of course, since  many blogs are better than mine and most are more popular.  There are many lessons I have to learn…it’s just that I don’t want to have to actually “talk”, if you know what I mean.

I don’t always get recognized as an introvert because I am not shy.  I always just thought I was weird, but I read Susan Cain’s “the Power of Introversion” and found out there are a lot of us with similar personalities.   Maybe you’re one, too…

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Today was the final day of the class…  I finally feel like I can write;  in fact, I have actually written this post and I’ve edited some pictures to post over at the garden blog.   Hmmm….

weird

 

Whatever…I’m back..!

 

 

Reporting in…

I have been writing a blog entry over at Madwoman for days–nay, a week now..!  It is an Intro to my birthday celebration, but it turned into a study of 1953, the sacred year of my birth.   Who would have predicted, back then, that I’d be using Wikipedia to research every aspect of the culture, then downloading  it from YouTube?  It is fascinating to view the old TV series, listen to the old music, while watching the old movies on DVD or Netflix.  The essay has been edited 25+ times, media has been added and subtracted, and I still can’t bring myself to post it…  Not sure why.  That’s where I’ve been…well, there and

I’ve been hitting the doctor office and labs and have more scheduled.  So far, I’m in pretty good shape for an old broad.  I have a few more procedures to look forward to, but I’m trying to get it all done before Spring Break (last week in March).

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We got a new TV, larger. and I’ve been watching the Olympics.  It’s been a little painful, really.

(And what are These Guys Doing??)

what

(huh?)

I’m liking the Yoga. I’ve completed the intro sessions and looking for a class that fit my ability and my schedule.  I hope I’ll be continuing.

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The school corporation is making up the last snow day by adding an extra hour to the school day for 6 days;  I wish they’d do this with All of the days and give us back our April days off.  Unlikely.  My hours at work will change some for those 6 days, but I’ve rather given up on controlling this weather-related crap.  It’s crazy…  Tonight we got a phone call warning us that school may have to dismiss early tomorrow due to the threat of Tornadoes…..yes, Tornadoes…  What next?   Makes me long for the good-old-days when the weather was a little more predictable:

But here it is, the birthday week-end looming, large as life.    Months ago, I told Casey that we’d celebrate the b-day on March 1 when we’ll be traveling to Nashville for the Lawn & Garden Show/ Wine Fest.  HaHaHaHa!!  You know me better than that!!   I still don’t have anything planned, though, so I’m nervously re-arranging shelves…  I have decided to watch “Roman Holiday” as a representative 1953 movie, and to read “Giant” to honor the memorable year.   Other than that, I’m not sure…but

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We’ll come up with something, so check back….

oh, and if you’re up for a short walk down memory lane,  visit http://www.raveonmadwoman.wordpress.com/ to view what’s left of the much-edited (posted at last!) Intro to the Birthday…

Doing nothing and resting afterwards…

With only 4 more days left in 81 Days:  A Sonnystone Summer Vacation this is the last one without commitments, engagements, appointments, or even Chores…  I slept in as late as I could, fostering my laziness, and plan on staying in these clothes unless I need supplies…  

The last 77 days have gone so well…  I still have memories of the grandkids floating around my head from July;  in June  the blues fest, B.B. King, the Garden Walk, and Car Show were stand-outs.  In the next 4 days we’ll be going to the Henderson Blugrass Fest and try to get to the 4H Antiques Show.

On Monday I’ll get back to my school building and set up the office.  It will be good to see my school-friends, and I have some ideas for decorating my office…But…

Today is a day to Count My Blessings…that will take all day long…

(and thanks for being one of them…yes, you,  dear reader…you read all the way to the end, even though there were no pictures…)

A, B. B, and the E’s…

My grand-nieces, whom I love dearly and do not see enough, visited yesterday.  I was thrilled that we were graced with the presence of a Teenager, actually 2 of them…(but I only got a picture of 1)…  Alex came by to grill Melissa about NYC and her boyfriend picked her up later.

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But the younger girls, Berkeley and Briley, played with Emma and read to Eliza…

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Emma said that my blog posts do not contain enough words, but I can’t quite help it right now…a picture is worth a thousand words (and a gallery must be worth about a million):

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where I’ve been…

7pm

I’ve been feeling so tired and crappy lately, and that twinge under my shoulderblade is back, racing down my arm to my fingertips unexpectedly without provocation.     I’ve given in to the napping and applied the heating pad…and I’ve been reading a lot of blogs instead of writing them.

When I read some of the stuff over at wordpress freshly pressed, I can only grade myself with a C.  I know that many of them aspire to be real, paid authors, but it’s amazing how good people can write..for free…Just because they really, really like to write.     Of course, there are groups of bloggers who become fast friends, sharing the same hobby or philosophy;  more deserve to become financially successful than actually achieve it.  I’m just in it for the fun of it, and reading others’ work is as fun as writing it…almost.  But I’ve got to bring up my grade…

The kitchen is still a bit torn up, and I’ve felt a little pressure to get it finished and get outside, so I welcomed the rains which eliminated the distraction.  We have a 3-day week-end (thanks to not using our Snow Days) and we’ll hopefully be finished up by Sunday.  I am bad at the before part of before-and-after, but I’ll try to explain how much better it all looks in a future post.

In the meantime, back to the heating pad…

Public Service Announcement…

I am proud to announce an addition to my family of blogs: Rave On Madwoman. The site was born quite a while back, but I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say…couldn’t find Her Voice, you might say. I did some Live Blogging there on Election Night, 2012, so you may have visited at that time. It has been completely revamped and is ready to be the movie, book, music review arm of my blogging. I’m also planning to publish some interviews there. Sonnystone Acres will return to being a journal of my home and family life. Growing Every Season, my gardening blog, will continue to keep you caught up with my growing habits…

I’ll be connecting Rave On to Facebook, so my FB friends can decide whether to click the link or not. To my fellow bloggers who have followed me because of my scintillating movie reviews…please follow me over to http://www.raveonmadwoman.wordpress.com/.

Thanks so much!!