Monday is for Musing…

in no particular order…

My old Nikon is so old…and I’ve banged it around, left the lens caps off, and did I mention it is old?  I think its photos are about 3 pixels.  I’ve priced a new one and I’m just too cheap to buy it…  The disadvantage is that it is such a big camera and dragging it around my neck gets tiresome.  The advantage is that it has a viewfinder and I’m just bad at taking pictures using that screen-thing ya’ll are so accustomed to.

So it came to be that I needed a phone upgrade and got a Galaxy s7 edge the other day.  This baby takes lovely pictures, like going from analog to HD…but I’m struggling to get my composition right whilst using that dang screen to frame it.  I’ve been walking around the house practicing…

…and will hopefully be handy with it when we are on…

…our upcoming trip…

We’ve been cleaning up the house and gardens in preparation for our upcoming trip to Disney World.  Yes, we are Disney Freaks and try to visit every 2 years.   This year is very different, though, since Melissa and her brood can’t be with us.    Michael and I have been intently working on the trip since last Christmas.  Casey and I will be staying at the Fort Wilderness Campground and the Jrs were upgraded from Port Orleans to Animal Kingdom Lodge!  We have dining reservations at the Royal Table (and all the other good character dinners) and fast-passes for all the most popular rides.  Because we’ve usually had a group of 10 and adjoining rooms, because we’ve usually stayed 4 days and this time we’re staying 6, I’m sort of discombobulated by the amount of time Casey and I will be on our own…  The International Food and Wine Festival is going on at Epcot…very timely…

(The New Yorkers will be meeting us at WDW next July…we get to go every year for a while!)

…remember when facebook was fun..?

It’s been a while.  Long ago I began to “hide” people, putting them on my acquaintance list whenever they posted a hateful anti-Obama meme or spewed some other racist shit.  I felt that was “nicer” than un-friending them, and soon half of my fb-friends were hidden.

The other day, I put Everybody back on the Friend List and started to receive their little posts in my newsfeed…  No surprise that all of those “friends” are still posting anti-Obama and Hillary memes, anti-LGBT and immigrants posts, and are Angry that Most of us are opposed to their guy, acting like they were so respectful when they were opposed to Pres 44.  Can anybody say “Tea Party”?  Oh, I forgot, that was about “taxes”, not that black guy who was president…

I have put most of them back on the acquaintance list…

..the self-acceptance summit…

My biggest personal problem, the one that I have struggled with Forever, it seems, is my self-hate.  I talk to myself like I would never speak to another person.  I call names, I demean, I beat myself up for every mistake I make.  My inner Judge has always been a bitch, stemming from blahblah childhood blahblah poor parenting, blahblah mean people blahblahblah…  I’ve prayed, I’ve meditated, I’ve tried the medicine…my struggle continues.  Ridding myself of people who reinforce such attitude has helped, and last week I attended a seminar on Self-Compassion that was Word when I needed it.

It was nice to “meet” some of my favorite authors–Elizabeth Gilbert, Danielle LaPorte, Kristin Neff, and Anne Lamott, to name a few.  What I was advised was to be my own friend and to respond to my Self with compassion, understanding, and forgiveness.  Sounds easy, eh?  Well, I’m trying.

What struck me most about these folks was their lack of perfection, their complete and honest admission that they are just as effed up inside as I am.  People who write best-sellers are still just messed up people like me….except they actually wrote best-sellers…

enough of musing…let’s have some music…

Peace

4 thoughts on “Monday is for Musing…

  1. Words on time for me too, Mrs Casey! My dad passed away last Friday… I was holding his hand… but still I keep thinking what more I could have done to let her m know how much I love him…. my life is filled by my nonenoughness and the days aren’t long enough for me to pally for it.
    Still I think that telling people that we love them whenever we get to do it is a beginning in becoming the love messenger I want to be…. so…. thanks for this perfectionist freak( talking about myself… ) soothing blog post that arrived just at the right moment for me!
    Hugs and looooots of love from up north Quebec (where I still hope to get to walk you around someday)
    P.s.: sorry for my poor English skills that are terribly challenged in an all French everyday surrounding… hope I got this message clear and comprehensible without too many weird mistakes……,,!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, Dear Sophie! I know your heart is broken and it will be for some time. Know this: He Knew how much you Loved Him. He is sad, too, and will hover over you and comfort you. We don’t know what’s beyond death, but I Believe that our Spirits don’t really die…that’s all I know for sure. As you said, we can only Love, as we can, those who Love Us, and those that don’t…Just Love.
      I wish I could Hug You.
      I understand everything you are saying…
      I would love to come to Quebec…

      Like

  2. I used a trick on myself to stop calling self names. Instead of saying nice things, I said neutral things. For example, instead of replacing “stupid” with “smart” I replaced it with “just an ordinary person”. Totally neutral. And after a while, I got to “smart”. You’ve got some self-help gurus in your corner, but if you try it, let me know how it works. BTW, took years.

    Liked by 1 person

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