when i was a little girl…many moons ago…i cried very easily. if i got my feelings hurt or got mad or just felt cornered— any little confusion caused me to cry. i’ve embarrassed myself as an adult with my crying and have worked hard to cover such a blatant show of weakness. i still cry at baptisms, weddings, taking communion–those sorts of cries–but i haven’t done one of those wracking, sobbing cries in a long time….until today. i watched via internet my aunt thelma’s funeral service…the montage of pictures with such beautiful music showed young thelma, uncle aub, linda and her family….linda spoke so sweetly of her mother…i saw my brother for the first time in too long, speaking of aunt thelma’s influence on our lives….and i cried that kind of cry that immediately swells your eyelids and turns your nose red. it came from deep inside of me and i cried for all the people i love who have passed on; i cried for all the people i love who still survive, just doing their best; i cried for the babies and children who have so much crying ahead of them; i cried for myself, for all of my mistakes and all of my accomplishments. i was alone, so i let it loose, sobbing away….
it’s a good thing, this crying mechanism that we humans have. it’s not to be overused, but never to be ignored. it’s comforting and cleansing.
thankfully, i was able to properly make-up for the church gig. now i’m nearly packed and ready to meet eliza b.