this birthday party-ing has worn me out and puffed me up. bbq, burritos, and bourbon have conspired with gravity to assault my mid-section. to compound the complaints, i’ve got considerable pain from a broken tooth/bridge. arrgghh… the birthday binge is officially over today and i’m packing my gym bag, checking in with my fitness pal. the dentist filled up his emergency appointments before i got the call in, so they’ll keep me on the cancellation list and i’ll have to call again in the a.m. you’d think the painful tooth thing would curb my eating, but no…
i got my taxes filed..yay. i have finally marked off everything on last week’s to-do list and have replaced it with this weeks’ version. the bathroom walls have their first coat of drywall mud and a new mess will ensue; casey broke the top of the toilet, so i guess i’m getting a new toilet, too. i have to get serious about paint color, but that sounds like fun.
hope you have some fun things to do this week, too.
2 weeks away from my routine is just enough time to get myself totally disoriented and out-of-sync. despite getting right back to work, i’m feeling more than a little dissociated–part of me is still there–and i’m not sure where the other part is, but if you see it somewhere, send it on home. adding to the disturbance: while i was gone, casey demolished our old shower and put in a new one. it was about 3/4 done when i got back saturday and he worked non-stop sunday and monday so that i could take a shower this morning. the mess is overwhelming. there’s thick dust all over the floors and furniture; piles of tools are littering the bathroom and my clothes-closet; the demolition revealed black insulation, worn studs. after finishing a ton of laundry, i don’t know where to put it. i can’t get motivated to clean, using the fact that we still have to drywall as my excuse…
usually, i would have started last week to reflect on my upcoming birthday, mulling and brooding over my past, present, and future. i normally would have planned some sort of escape from the normal, but with no normal to escape, what’s a girl to do?
so we’ll make tomorrow a new start, dusty as i may be. get ready to celebrate, friends, and enjoy my birthday as if we were together—and i truly wish we were….
i’m away from my sweetheart, so i’ve spent the bn coupons for godiva chocolate on my nyc family. it’s fun to see emma’s excitement about her school party; she didn’t have to wear her school uniform today and was all pinked out, looking sweet.
hoping your day is full of hearts and flowers, sunshine and lovelovelove (because that’s all you need).
eliza is perfect, as you’ve probably noticed. it is always a joy to hold a newborn, especially one who is “yours”. when emma was born i flew in for only 2 days—she opened her eyes about twice while i was here…. of course, the second child is more of a challenge, so i was hoping to be a help for this 2-week stint. i’m doing my best—after-school pick-ups, some babysitting eliza while mommy picks up emma, running some errands and just a little bit of cooking—but this amazing family does a great job all by themselves. it’s been coldcold, so allowing eliza to stay at home is good. em has a killer schedule—monday ballet, wednesday cooking, thursday irish-dancing–so i’m busy enjoying her enjoyment. maybe i’ll feel a little more “necessary” on saturday night when melissa and eric have an “event” at st. joseph and tuesday evening they’ll attend aaron’s show…giving me some extra duties. i’m not complaining, merely justifying my plan to hit some museums next week….there are some great exhibits right now at several: the whitney has an edward hopper exhibit; the met has “stieglitz, steichen, strand”; the moma has ” picasso’s guitars” and warhol’s motion pictures. i’ve never visited the guggenheim (except to shop) because they never had an exhibit i was $20 interested in, but currently there’s a kandinsky show i’d love to see….. the weather is supposed to be 40’s, so i’m on for a walk in the park, too. i’m leaving out for home around 5pm on friday and emma has that day off school, so we plan a tea party brunch at alices’s teacup to celebrate my birthday.
i love this family and am so happy to be right in the middle of their wonderful life in this great city. oh, i didn’t bring my nikon because i was planning to use my droid—and i will just as soon as i master the process. till then, don’t miss the pictures over at http://www.moonthinks.com.
when i was a little girl…many moons ago…i cried very easily. if i got my feelings hurt or got mad or just felt cornered— any little confusion caused me to cry. i’ve embarrassed myself as an adult with my crying and have worked hard to cover such a blatant show of weakness. i still cry at baptisms, weddings, taking communion–those sorts of cries–but i haven’t done one of those wracking, sobbing cries in a long time….until today. i watched via internet my aunt thelma’s funeral service…the montage of pictures with such beautiful music showed young thelma, uncle aub, linda and her family….linda spoke so sweetly of her mother…i saw my brother for the first time in too long, speaking of aunt thelma’s influence on our lives….and i cried that kind of cry that immediately swells your eyelids and turns your nose red. it came from deep inside of me and i cried for all the people i love who have passed on; i cried for all the people i love who still survive, just doing their best; i cried for the babies and children who have so much crying ahead of them; i cried for myself, for all of my mistakes and all of my accomplishments. i was alone, so i let it loose, sobbing away….
it’s a good thing, this crying mechanism that we humans have. it’s not to be overused, but never to be ignored. it’s comforting and cleansing.
thankfully, i was able to properly make-up for the church gig. now i’m nearly packed and ready to meet eliza b.