my right arm has been hurting since late october.  i believe it was a sleep injury, a familiar neckache one morning that intensified over the weeks.  though i ate ibuprofen 3 meals a day and spent many evenings on the heating pad, i couldn’t really rest it because of all the church music i’ve had to play.   i know, you’re thinking, geez what’s so tough about playing the organ once a week?  well, it’s been 3x week, 1 to 1 1/2 hours each,  add 1 hr of practice to each “performance” don’t forget that lutherans sing liturgy and expect a prelude, offertory, postlude.  it’s a little more than accompanying some hymns and it’s caused me to have excruciating pain.  i had an upcoming dr appointment and tried to put off seeing him till then, but ended up in his office yesterday afternoon practically crying. 

pinched nerve, as usual.  he gave me a very painful shot of toradol that hurt more than the pain that brought me in.  while i was reeling from that, he shot me with cortisone underneath my wing.   then he sent me on my way.  today, there’s just a little residual discomfort from the injections and some intermittent tingling.  why did i put this off???

partly because i still think i can just “get over” things all by myself.  while i’m waiting for stuff to go away, i entertain thoughts such as “i shouldn’t be ignoring this…what if it’s a heart attack”.   thinking about those possibilities actually drives me away from facing the problem for what it is.  or was…..another pinched nerve, made worse by overuse and anxiety.  

i just need to relax;  i’ll get to it right after christmas.